Bad Relationships

This is a crushingly beautiful film.

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” took me a very long time to watch. I’m not sure why. Perhaps the long run of bad relationships in my life into my older age has made me skirt about this particular film. That I didn’t want to be reminded of the hurt and heartache that could paint a person’s loneliness.

What if we all have regrets we want to get rid of? What if all of us want to dispose of baggage that seems to pile up like unwanted bills in our lives? There’s no real answer to it. Most of us try to make the most of us and continue to live the best we can. There’s no real help to those who have poor relationship problems. There’s no over the counter pill you can pick up at the local Walgreen to make you forget the things you want to leave behind.

But what this film teachers you, however, is that you find the good in all of the bad. You can find the spark of love in all the regrets you have. You try to hang on to that good in the person without trying to bring up anything not worth mentioning. But not everyone is perfect. And this is what the film might be trying to say.

But there’s a little bit of an extra science fiction elements that shifts the emotional center of this film. And these elements make the story progress forward and backwards into its own unique narrative. And it brings a kind of storytelling that sets it apart from many other romantic endeavors.

Jim Carrey in a non-comedy role plays a reclusive, shy man named Joel who lives in a dull New York apartment and meets for the first time a sparky, gusty girl Clementine at a beach party in northern New York… affectionately called Montauk by Clementine. However, he decides to erase all memories of the girl Clementine after he learns that she has erased him from her life.

The double blow for both of these people come into an inner conflict that can become confusion at times during the story, but always refreshing. They go to a place called Laucana that is a business firm going into the business of doing selection memory wipe from people who wish to hire them.

So each and everyone of them wants to get rid of the worst part of their lives. For the star crossed lovers who fell in love with each other, sharing their memories on the beach and eating at local Chinese restaurants, they soon become more enraged at their flaws. Little things. Small habits that become annoying in a solid relationship between couples. So it’s easy for them to say, “I’m going to erase you from my mind. I’m tired of you.”

So the people in this film become empty vessels of emotion. They become cold, hardened shells of nothingness. Carry goes through the entire film with a slight case of depression wiring into his brain. Everyone has their problems. And everyone has a closet filled with memories.

They’re not the only screw-ups in the film. The humanitarian award goes to the jerks who run Lacauna Inc. when two amateur guys played by Mark Ruffalo and Elija Wood gets distracted by swinging girl Kirsten Dunst while they play out their lover’s sparks as they’re erasing Joel’s memories from his life. And their distractions turn into a very close disaster. Wood is far worse as he plays a man who woos Clementine after she gets her mind erased. This guy is a real douchebag.

But why lead a perfect life?

Is that what these people are trying to do? They are trying to get rid of their faults and flaws to create a perfect assembly of life? There is no such thing as a perfect happiness. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. These things must be worked on, chipped away, and pounded into shape before they could reach the beautiful happiness that so many people look for in this world. And very few people can find.

Joel tries to fight the erasure of memory when he undergoes the procedure created by the Lacauna business. He slips backward into his memories as he tries to hide his Clementine into thoughts that would not be wiped away. He runs through a sea of troubled thoughts as he digs deeper into his life’s worst moments, his humiliation when he is ushered by a group of children to beat a dead bird with a hammer or a masturbation scene where his mother accidently stumbles up on him.

Finally, despite the crumbling memories around him, Joel is left like an unwaking zombie filled with several gaps in his mind. Most of these concerns his girlfriend of two years. But he is still clinging on to his regrets and pains of a past life. And he is skating on thin ice when he plays around with his memories.

Clementine does the same thing. She is wonderfully played by Kate Winslet who is an underrated actress. She’s got a certain beauty about her and slips into a very challenging role here. Not the greatest actress in the world. But it’s admiring to see her play something that could easily be out of her league. But she does it with a powerful dedication to the role.

It’s not a cheerful movie. Far from it. It's a sad moment devised by director Michael Gondry. And you’re left in a loop at the very end of the film where the two lovers decide to start all over again. Perhaps this time leaving in all the mistakes of a relationship. They’ll have to learn to live with it. This is a very saddening movie about people who want to get rid of their memories to lead an otherwise colorless life.

But everyone also have very good memories. Why get rid of those? There are those who should learn to take the good with the bad. And “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” hints at a mind that has no memories… living in eternal bliss without knowing any pain or suffering. But what sort of life is that?

It's nice to see a movie with special effects that doesn't overpower the story, but weaves into it with a perfect mix. It's a science fiction movie without the "boom" in space. George Lucas might learn something from this film.

Perhaps the film is an indicator of many relationships that are going sour in this country and trying to understand the damaged ruins of such. Perhaps shedding a little bit of light in a relationship might be the most healthy response instead of walking away from it in an act of forgetting it all. You’ll never know what you miss if you don’t embrace the possibilities of a good relationship.